OK, so it could be worse, but it reads funny [funnily?].

Charlotte Peters’ husband bought a lottery ticket on Nov. 1 and died later that day. And just recently, she decided to check those lottery numbers before chucking the tickets.

Had she not checked the numbers, her bag of trash would have been worth $10 million.

Take a lesson from this bittersweet story. Check your pockets.

Just last week, America’s oldest man passed away at 112 years old. But a 114-year-old woman is slated to become the oldest person in the world.

Gertrude Baines from California said she led the life God wanted, which has contributed to her life’s longevity.

Baines takes the title from Portugal’s Maria de Jesus, who held the title for just more than a month. Prior to that, the record was back in the United States with Indiana’s Edna Parker, who had the title for more than a year.

It just so happens that Parker is a local Philadelphia celebrity. She was featured in the very popular Cut to the Chase column, “Notable deaths of 2007: gone but not forgotten.”

Small world, eh?

One of my favorite entries in the Guiness Book of Records is the oldest living person record. I like to think of it more as a competition.

The oldest living man in the U.S. recently passed away at the age of 112 years and 206 days. That’s 16 presidencies (and just more than 20 days short of 17).

Old people have always fascinated me for an unknown reason. At the same time, I don’t think I could ever work at a geriatric home. Call me a hypocrite.

For more information on old people, I direct you to the Wikipedia page about supercentenarians.

The title is meant to be sung to the tune of Dr. Elmo’s “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

I’m really only posting this story because I want to use my “Old People” tag.

A less-than-likely suspect was arrested for drug possession in Florida. The perp’s stats?

A 70-year-old Latina woman from Miami.

Apparently, she was purchasing it for her son. She denies her own use, but claims the officers were a little rough with her, citing a bruised wrist.

It’ll be interesting to see whether the judge empathizes. Only problem is, we’ll never hear from this case again because the interesting part is over…

It only took five dead husbands for police to question the common denominator.

Betty Johnson (sounds like a grandmother you’d love to have, doesn’t it?) has finally been arrested after police have questioned her involvement in at least one of her husbands’ deaths.

The 76-year-old has been charged with the 1986 murder of her fourth husband.

So a lessen for us all — if your spouse has had at least three other spouses in his or her life, track them down. Make sure they’re alive. Or run like hell.

I’m scared enough to have my 15-year-old brother on the road next year.

Lilian Cox began driving when she was 8. That was back in 1915.

Cox just renewed her license three months ago, which now expires in 2011. Now, she’s 101. By then, she’ll be 104.

She travels in her 1984 sedan DeVille. She’s had it for 28 years. I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but that’s about 101 in human years, too.

The package linked above is a little corny. For some reason, the guy can’t get over every single car cliche possible – need for speed, owning the road, etc. But at least we get to watch Lilian.